Speaker: Angelica Sivieri
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💛 Introduction
Many women tend to say yes very quickly, to clients, managers, projects, or tasks, often before fully processing whether it feels right.
The intention of the workshop was not to force a “no”, but to affirm our yes and learn how to respond more consciously instead of automatically.
A key reminder: We do not have to say yes immediately.
⚔️ Opening Card: Two of Swords
Angelica introduced Tarot as a creative reflection tool and pulled a main guiding card for the workshop: The Two of Swords.
Together, we reflected on what this card could represent in the context of boundaries at work:
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Self-protection and self-defense
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Being emotionally or mentally “armored”
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Holding opposing options (yes / no) at the same time
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A sense of defensiveness or inner conflict
This card framed the central theme of the workshop: being caught between yes and no, and the need for clarity before deciding.
😕 Saying Yes When It Doesn’t Feel Right
Participants reflected on moments when they said an instant yes that later felt uncomfortable or like a burden.
Common feelings include: confusion, overwhelm, anxiety, stress or mental rush, powerlessness, shame, fear of missing out (FOMO), regret
Scanning our body for cues of discomfort is important. Many participants noticed that this discomfort shows up physically, for example:
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Tightness or unease in the stomach
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Pressure in the chest
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Tension in the shoulders
🤔 What Would a No Feel Like?
The group then explored the idea of saying no, even hypothetically, and what emotions are attached to it.
Potential positive outcomes of saying no:
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Feeling understood
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Feeling heard
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Open and honest communication
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More clarity and alignment
Fears and challenges around saying no:
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Guilt
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Fear of conflict
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Fear of disappointing others
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Worry about being perceived as selfish
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Discomfort
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Thoughts like: “Who am I to say no?”
❤️ Insight Card: The Lovers
An Insight Card was drawn: The Lovers.
Reflections that emerged:
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Saying no to one thing often means saying yes to something else
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Boundaries are connected to values and alignment
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Vulnerability and honest communication play a role
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Awareness of power imbalances in professional settings
This card reframed no as an act of connection, not rejection.
🧠 Reflect Before Answering
Angelica shared practical steps to take before giving an answer:
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Don’t respond immediately
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Take a breath
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Scan the body for signals
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Ask yourself:
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How would it feel to say yes?
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How would it feel to say no?
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What emotions or sensations are present?
A practical strategy was to ask for time before responding, for example:
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“Can I get back to you in 15 minutes?”
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“Let me check a few details and circle back.”
This pause creates space for awareness and informed decision-making.
🔨 Guidance Card: Eight of Coins
Before reframing the yes, a Guidance Card was pulled: The Eight of Coins.
Key themes from this card:
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Boundary-setting is a skill
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It takes practice, focus, and repetition
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It is ongoing work, not a one-time action
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You can prepare for your no
This card reminded us that choosing your yes is something you can train.
🔄 Reframing the Yes: Creating the Conditions to Succeed
Instead of an automatic yes, participants explored how to shape the conditions under which a yes would actually work.
Reflective questions included:
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Do I have enough time for this task?
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Are the expectations clear?
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Do I have the resources and information I need?
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Is this aligned with my role or objectives?
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What would make this task feel manageable?
A key insight was that a yes doesn’t have to be unconditional.
By asking questions and clarifying expectations, a yes can become more realistic, sustainable, and aligned.
Sometimes, simply asking these questions also helps the other person realize that the request may not make sense.
🧰 How to Integrate it into Work: Small, Practical Changes
The group reflected on how to start implementing this in everyday work life:
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Taking a pause before answering
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Asking clarifying questions
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Giving yourself permission to process first
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Moving away from instant yeses
Even small pauses can already shift the dynamic.
🪙 Wrap-up Card: Ten of Coins
The final Wrap-up Card was the Ten of Coins.
Reflections from this card included:
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Long-term stability and abundance
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Wisdom, calm, and groundedness
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Community and shared success
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Boundaries as an invitation to stay connected to your life
Boundaries were reframed as not a loss, but a reward
📚 Resources
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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* – Mark Manson
(with an asterisk: time-bound perspectives, to be read critically) -
Defy – Sunita Sah
Choosing your yes is not about saying no more often, it’s about saying yes with awareness, intention, and self-respect.
